He
used to call me his angel and I proved that I was.
2 years, 26 days, 7 hours – the time frame when I
loved someone unconditionally. Those memories, oh sweet terrible memories…
lingered in my mind, caught my soul, and buried my heart.
I remember the time when I first fell in love.
Everything was so magical. I believed in fairy tales. He was actually my knight
in a shining armor. Those eyes… his gleaming eyes pounded my weak knees. I felt
the throbbing of my heart. And his words… oh yes, his words, I felt the
sincerity of his honey-tongued lines.
Too drastic, too melodramatic. Cruel things happened
but I didn’t surrender. I realized he was not my dream man but I didn’t give up
because I love him so much. He’s a player. He’s a liar. He didn’t have any
plans in life. He chase after other girls. He was always drunk. He got no effort.
But what made me stay? It’s because he didn’t let a day pass without showing
that I was so dear important in his life.
Well some said I was trapped by the sitch. I was
blind. Others said that I was poisoned by his sweet disguise because if he
really loved me he will dump the other woman clinging on him. He did actually.
He saved our relationship. He proved to me that he’s worth fighting for. So as
a result, I gave him another chance and we let true love bloom again.
Suddenly, our happy memories turned into a piece of
mess. Drastic. Horrible. If our love was true and powerful, why did it end? He
lied to me. He really lied to me. He didn’t dump her. I asked him why? Because
the other woman was suicidal he said. For God’s sake! Desperate! I gave up but
he said he’ll fix all the mess and I just have to wait. I waited for months and
months then one night, his brother texted me saying that my first love will
marry the other woman. I cried. I cried. All I know was I cried.
After crying for a night, the next day, I learned
how to be strong. I learned how to be tough. I learned how to stand up again. I
can’t be mad at him for what he had done because despite of that anger, nothing
will happen. It will just make my life more miserable. On the contrary, I
realized at one point in my life that I was happy with our fate because I
changed his life. From trash, he became a good and responsible man. He was just
so unlucky because he was tied to a leech but that’s his destiny. Suddenly, with
the swirling of thoughts in my mind, his unending line beat me “You’re my angel.” I grasped, I really
was his angel.
4 years and 6 months of being single and alone, past
forgotten, no communication; I felt another spark but I was so damn afraid to
love again but I can’t help it. I fell. And it was like déjà vu because I was
caught by the wrong one for the second time. They have the same attitude,
vices, and everything. But along the line, beyond my standards, he was the one
I chose. I didn’t know why. That’s the magic of love. You will never know
when to fall and who will catch you.
Yes, for second time the ending’s not good and it
lasted only for 4 months. And pretty terrible! Life was really tricky! My first
breakup was on the 24th and with the second, it was twisted to 23rd
to 24th too. Sigh. However, I got no regrets because at this time, I
learned again. And come on! I believe that life’s too short to stress myself
with people who do not deserve to be a part of me! Anyway, I wonder if what my
first love will say if I will tell him all my stories about this recent guy. I
bet he’ll laugh because upon making me a man hater and picky one, I was
poisoned again by love. Well, that’s life. No matter how many fool, stupid,
first love-like guy, and 24th heartbreaking disaster will come my
way, I believe that I will always be an angel. J
