Deal With The Flaws

Loving someone who can’t love you back is an intricate reality that one must accept. Pain and despondency will surmount. This predicament will never be easy. Facing it will crop up to two choices – stanchly fight for your feelings or it could be on the other way around, appreciate the flaws and let go.

I was all alone when I first stepped on college. Strange feelings overwhelmed me. There were different kinds of students; posh, emo, dweeb, etc. I didn’t know whom should I befriend. Walking alongside the corridors while taking a look at the tall buildings of the institution, I suddenly bumped at a tall handsome guy. “Sorry” was all I uttered. “It’s alright” was all he replied. He helped me pick up my things that fell on the floor. After that, he smiled and left. I blushed. I was totally “kinilig” in lay man’s term. I wanted to have a small chit-chat with him. I wanted to know more about him but I couldn’t; I was just a newbie in the school community.

Day by day, I always looked forward to see him at school. His smile made me feel happy and enlightened right through the day. I had this feeling that I craved to boost out; to confess. I didn’t even know his name already but I fell in love with him. It’s asinine and absurd; yes it is. Many would say that it’s just a sheer crush or infatuation, but I really loved the way it was.

God will always make a way. After clusters of heartfelt prayers, the Almighty Father twisted our destiny. Our paths interlaced, eradicating the clichés we might stumble upon. Chances flowed in my extremely waiting heart. Expectations prevailed and bashed on my wit. THIS IS THE TIME, I told myself. We became acquaintances because of a cool nonchalant club at school. We had the chance to know each other for a while. I thought that he was one of those “campus crush” types of guys who just steal girls’ hearts away and leave. I was wrong. He’s a total boy-next-door with not just good looks but a kind heart. Luckily, we had reached the level of true friendship to M.U.’s.

A rhythmic tone sounded out on my cellular phone. I hurriedly got it to look for the message because I knew that it was from him. I checked it on and the message stated “Tigilan mo bf ko! Feeler!” Fretfulness branched out over my whole body. Tears rolled on my eyes; I started to cry. My mind can’t decide about the next thing I will indulge. Is this text message really from his girlfriend? Should I reply? Do I need to believe? Barbs came hacking on my broken heart. I can’t handle the fact that fate was so ruthless.

Mesmerizing what we had while reading the letter he dropped on my locker is the most piercing situation I ever experienced. I know I still have feelings for him. I’m not yet over him. But somehow, I should stop this mess for some reasons like It-has-never-been-official stuff and because of the lines he jotted on this letter I’m holding right now…

“Hey! I’m so sorry if my girlfriend had been so mean to you. I hope that you could understand the sitch. I’m sorry for all of the painstaking stuff you had. It’s my fault. However, I want you to realize that FRIENDSHIP is all that we had. You’d been a very good friend to me and that’s it! We never had any intimate moments. Again, I’m so sorry. Sorry for not loving you back.”

Dealing with the flaws of life is difficult. Understanding and acceptance are the keys. In my situation, I know that I made the right decision, GAVE-UP and LET GO; for I believe that’s the best way to be contented and to wipe out all the pain away is to grasp the reality that I can’t have all that I want. It’s true that often, in true-to-life stories, there are no happy endings. On the other hand, we just need to be grateful for everything – the ups and downs of life to have fulfillment and say “This is not my time but I believe that the Guy up there will give me more than I ever wanted very soon.”

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."
— Marilyn Monroe