A Letter: Longing For Your Love Again

Time is so hasty. I didn’t recognize that it has been craggily 2 years since we decided to end our relationship. At that time, we both cried. The angst of bitterness flew on the hazy devotion of heartaches. The waves floated unto our weak knees, annihilating every piece of our remarkable love… yes, remarkable love.

I remember the days when I was with you. From strangers to friends; friends to best friends; best friends to lovers and then sadly, from lovers to null stuff. I remember everything about you, about us. Your smile, your voice, your attitude… Whenever I had a problem, you patted my shoulder and insisted “Okay lang yan. Nandito pa naman ako.” You were always there for me. You were my crying shoulder to lean on. You held my hand through bliss and darkness.

The sweetest moment came when you asked me if you could be my suitor. I was shocked. I shivered. I blushed. I didn’t expect it. And so, I gave you the permission. You tried your best to have my YES.

“YES.” After I had been answered your courtship, your eyes glittered in happiness. You were so pleased to have me. You hugged me so tight. Butterflies suddenly stroke my stomach. I didn’t know what will be the next step you will indulge. Then, you kissed me in the lips. My heart jumped and the cold breeze caressed my face. You then whispered in my ears, “Baby, now and forever, I will be your man.”

We had a great relationship. You wore different masks that made me love you even more. You’re my best friend; a someone whom I can share secrets with; a someone who let me shouted how unfair world is in times of hindrances. You were my “kuya”. You listened very well to my sentiments. You changed my childish acts to a mature one. You’re an ultimate witty joker. Although I frowned, you showed off a face of a clown to make me smile. You’re my only crush. I got so weak when you stare at me. Every time somebody mentions your name, I quivered. And when you teased me, it was so annoying but I didn’t get mad; I was actually craving for more. You were my special someone. I had sweet and intimate moments because of you. My life glistened every time I sit on your lap. You held me so close. I didn’t want to lose you. You’re my one and only.

“Sorry, please give me a chance.” Sometimes, when we are already enjoying what we have, fate could be so harsh. In our case, a tremendous obstacle grunted on our path. I didn’t give you a chance to explain because I was hurt. They told me to forgive you. They told me that you really were serious to love me forever, but I doubted it. All that was on my mind is you were like those typical guys who were often referred as “manloloko.”

You kneeled and begged me to forgive you. I said NO. You brought me a bouquet of flowers; I threw it. You sang me a song but I pushed you away. You tried your luck to win me again; however, I didn’t give you the key. I knew I still love you but the anger was still radiating throughout my body. One time, you gave up. You left me with no signs. I cried. I was wrong, I thought. But I can’t bring you back in my arms.

Being alone now in this corner of an empty room, full of sorrow, leaching with disappointments, I realize I still love you. I want to have you again. If I could turn back the time, I would not let you go; I would forgive you. Baby, I really am sorry. I know, life isn’t a fairytale, but if it is, I would runaway with YOU…